Is it Real or Just Imagination?

Ever since and even before the near death experience, which occurred in my 40th year and transformed my life, I’d had feelings and a sense of connection with Alexandria, Egypt, & the old library. Not long after that momentous event, I recalled a life there as a very beautiful and wealthy woman who ran an exclusive brothel populated by highly adept, intelligent women who were visited by men of the highest order seeking engaging company and someone of the feminine with whom they could converse on a broad range of subjects in diverse languages. I have, ever since, dreamed of visiting Alexandria, even though its present condition isn’t even a shade of its former glory before the fire that destroyed the great library.

Today, having just read “Daimonic Reality” by Patrick Harpur, I’m reminded again of the many times in my life I’ve referred to myself as an alchemist. Years ago, I studied the Tarot with a former Vietnam veteran, educated in this art, along with astrology and other ways. For the lessons I purchased a deck of the Golden Dawn cards, which were, I’ve recently discovered, associated closely with study in the Kabbalah by some artists like W.B. Yeats and others. The deck has no writing, only pictures, which prevent one from forming more intellectual associations, while encouraging deeper associations in the Imagination. The booklet that accompanies the deck only refers to the significance of the numbers and their placement in the numerical order of the Tree of Life.

My curiosity about the Kabbalah was triggered in my late teens when I was seeking Mystery, from the Judaic perspective, through my family roots. At the tender age of 12, I declared very clearly to my mother and father that I had no intention of continuing my studies in Judaism, Hebrew and the state of Israel. I’d already concluded that as a girl my place in the religious order of things was lesser than, vis-à-vis the masculine. In fact, throughout my life since then, as I’ve studied other isms from the near, middle and far East, as a seeker of “truth”, the same seems to prevail, which is why I eventually eschewed all religions, even those I felt some kinship with, in favour of Earth-based ways that are of the Feminine, the Great Mother Who has birthed us all, in her manifold aspects.

In fact, it was re-membering while in ceremony, out in Nature, that this longed-for direct connection with Source was re-established within me.

When the first awakenings began in my early years, I used to believe that such musings were strictly made up in my head, not real at all. As a child, I had a very vivid imagination, read about and played with fairies and elves, had and expressed thoughts about things that later became spoken of by scientists, for example.

Because my family feared for me, I was often shut down, encouraged to keep quiet about such things and so I learned to override with my intellect all intuitive waves that wafted through. Strange, considering that all the adults in my family had different psychic and healing gifts. Well, all that ended with that first near death experience. I was too weak and sick with no energy to fight off what kept coming to me in dreams, thoughts, and feelings; I had to surrender to my Intuition at last and she came in gangbusters.

Now, I know that I’m in no way unique in having such experiences. How about you? Are you challenged with trying to make sense of your experiences? I may be able to help you sort out and find places within yourself to hold these in new and more meaningful ways, ways that may carry you forward in your journey, that make sense in your large life purpose. My experiences led me onto the shamanic path of healing, something I’ve been doing for more than thirty years.